He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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