can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
