I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
