I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
