shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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