im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
