Do vagina's smell?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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