You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i barfeds in our rink
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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