ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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