Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
