You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
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This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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