These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We have so much sex to catch up on
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
