Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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