I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
