I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
