considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
