you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize