i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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