its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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