You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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