He kissed a someone with a penis
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
