Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
