Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
