We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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