I could have mohawked her pubes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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