Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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