Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Couch. On fire.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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