I could have mohawked her pubes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
