it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
