wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
