I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
