omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
