I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
