At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
