So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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