Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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