Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
