Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She's the barista slut.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
