Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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