just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
