i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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