ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize