spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
