Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is classic penis vs brain.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
