drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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