hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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