I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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