Your tits are I can't wait for
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
