I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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