I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's just like the Real World with babies
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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