we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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