Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
