You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
