new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm really busy with my period
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