We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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