So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
