I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
