I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are not precious.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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