i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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