he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
