if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
