Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
