Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe