Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot

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(214): View more from Texas

new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.

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(815): View more from Illinois

In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.

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(450): View more from Quebec

I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement

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(619): View more from California

No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.

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