this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
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The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
where are you?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
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Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.