be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
