drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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