it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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