I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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