in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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